a stem is not a rose (miserymachine) wrote,
a stem is not a rose

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i try to behave, but it eats me alive.

so, i call mindsuckr to tell him that plans seem to be falling through for the day [i wish they hadn't], when he gives me some surprising news: he's being offered a managerial position at a store in youngstown. youngstown isn't nearly as far away as zanesville [zanesville: 2+ hrs, youngstown: 45 min. from akron] so maybe suicidal_decay will be able to move into his new apartment up there with him. when he gets one, that is. that way he won't be lonely.

he'll have a better, well-paying job, & his best friend to come home to. plus youngstown isn't as culturally devoid as zanesville, so there'll be better places to go to spend his free time than the local bp or super k. he'll meet fun & interesting new people at work & around town.

now, this all sounds like a lovely future for him, but..

[of course there's always a "but," i'm a selfish whore who can never be entirely happy for anyone else without my own issues coming into play. blahblahblah; whine, whine, whine.]

but where do i fit into this? do i fit into it?
do i have an option? [no elicia, shut up.]

& to think we just had such a nice night out together recently.

well, there never were any guarantees. we'll see how this plays out.
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